Anushasanika Parva — The rites of marriage and all the particulars thereof

Yudhishthira said Tell me of that, O grandfather, which is the root of all duties, which is the root of kinsmen of home, of the departed manes and of guests.

I think this should be considered as the foremost of all duties. Tell me, however, O king, to what sort of a person should one give his daughter.

Having enquired into the conduct and nature of the person, his learning and acquirements, his birth, and his acts, good people should then confer their daughter upon accomplished bridegrooms.

All righteous Brahmanas, O Yudhishthira, act thus. This is known as the Brahma marriage, O Yudhishthira.

Selecting a befitting bridegroom, the father of the girl should make him marry his daughter, having by various presents, induced the bridegroom to that act. This form of marriage, forms the eternal practice of all good Kshatriyas.

When the father of the girl, without consulting his wishes, confers his own daughter upon a person whom the daughter likes and who reciprocates the girl's sentiments, the form of marriage, O Yudhishthira, is called Gandharva by those versed in the Vedas.

The wise have declared, O king, to be the practice of the Asuras, viz., marrying a girl after buying her at a high cost and after gratifying the cupidity of her kinsmen.

Killing and chopping off the heads of weeping kinsmen, the bridegroom sometimes forcibly takes away the girl he marries. Such marriage, O son, passes by the name of Rakshasa.

Of these five, (viz., the Brahma, the Kshatra, the Gandharva, the Asura, and the Rakshasa), three are righteous, O Yudhishthira, and two are unrighteous, The Paishacha and the Asura forms should, never be followed.

The Brahma, Kshatra, and Gandharva forms are righteous, O prince of men! Pure or mixed, these forms should forsooth be followed.

The Brahmana can take three wives. The Kshatriya can take two wives. The Vaishya should take a wife from only his own caste. The children born of these wives should all be considered as equal.

Of the three wives of a Brahmana. She taken from his own caste should be considered as the foremost. Likewise, of the two wives permitted to the Kshatriya, she taken from his own caste should be considered as superior. Some say that persons belonging to the three higher castes may take, only for purposes of enjoyment, wives from the lowest or the Shudra caste. Others, however, forbid the practice.

The righteous condemn the practice of begetting children upon Shudra women. A Brahmana, by begetting children upon a Shudra women, becomes subject to the liability of performing an expiation.

A person of thirty years of age should marry a girl of ten years of age wearing a single piece of cloth. Or, a person of one and twenty years of age should marry a girl of seven years of age.

That girl who has no brother nor father should not be married, O chief of Bharata's race, For she may be intended for giving birth to the heir of her father.

After puberty, it in, the girl (if not married) should wait for three years. On the fourth year, she should look for a husband herself.

The children of such a girl do not lose their respectability, nor does union with such a girl become disgraceful. If, instead of selecting a husband for herself, she acts otherwise, she gets the reproach of Prajapati herself.

One should marry that girl who is not a Sapinda of his mother or of the same family with his father. This is the usage which Manu has declared.

Yudhishthira said Desirous of marriage some one actually gives a dower to the girl's kinsmen; some one, the girl's kinsmen consenting, promises to give a present; some one says, I shall carry away the girl by force; some one simply shows his riches; some one, again, actually takes the hand of the girl with rites of marriage. I ask you, O grandfather, whose wife does the girl actually become? You are the eye to those who wish to know the truth.

Bhishma said The deeds of men approved by the wise, are seen to yield good. False speech, however, is always sinful.

The girl herself who becomes wife, the sons born of her, the Ritvijas and preceptors and disciples and Upadhyayas present at the marriage all become liable to expiation if the girl gives her hand to a person other than he whom she had promised to marry. Some are of opinion that no expiation is necessary for such conduct.

Manu does not speak highly of the practice of a girl living with a person whom she does not like. Living as wife with a person whom she does not like, produces disgrace and sin. No one commits sin in any of the following cases.

In forcibly carrying away for marriage a girl that is bestowed upon the abductor by the girl's relatives with due rites, as also a girl for whom dower has been paid and accepted, there is no great sin.

Upon the girl's kinsmen having given their consent, Mantras and Homa should be restored to. Such Mantras truly accomplish their purpose. Mantras and Homa recited and performed in the case of a girl who has not been given away by her kinsmen, do not accomplish their purpose.

The engagement made by the relatives of a girl is, no doubt, binding and sacred. But the engagement that is made by the bride and bridegroom, with the help of Mantras, is very much, more so.

According to the injunctions of the scriptures, the husband should regard his wife as an acquisition due to his own pristine deeds or to what has been ordained by God. One, therefore, commits no sin by accepting for wife a girl who had been promised to another by her kinsmen or for whom dower had been accepted by them from another.

Yudhishthira said When after the receipt of dower for a girl, the girl's father more eligible sees a bridegroom,-one, who is endued with the threefold objects, does the girl's father commit sin by rejecting the person from whom dower had been received in favour of him who is more eligible?

In such a case either alternative appears to be sinful, for to discard the person to whom the girl has been promised can never be honorable, while to reject the person who is more eligible can never be good. I ask, how should the father act so that he might be said to do that which is beneficial? To us, of all duties this seems to deserve utmost deliberation.

We are desirous of determining the truth. You, indeed, are our eyes. Do you explain this to us. I am never satiated vith listening to you.

Bhishma said The gift of the dower does not make the girl wife. This is wellknown to the person paying it. He pays it simply as the price of the girl . Then again the good never bestow their daughters, induced by the dowers that others may offer.

When the person desirous of marrying happens to be gifted with such qualities as do not go down with the girl's kinsmen, it is then that kinsmen demand dower from him. The person, however, who won over by another's accomplishments, says,—Do you marry my girl, adorning her with proper ornaments of gold and gems,—and that person who satisfies this request, cannot be said to demand dower or give it, for such a transaction is not a sale. The bestowal of a daughter upon acceptance of what may properly be considered as gifts is the eternal practice.

In matters of marriage, some fathers say-I shall bestow my daughter upon such and such a person; some say-~-I shall not bestow my daughter upon such a one:—Some, again, say forcibly—I must bestow my daughter upon such an individual.

These declarations are not tantamount to actual marriage. People are seen to solicit one another for the hands of maidens. Till the hand is actually taken with due rites, marriage does not happen. We have heard that even this was the boon granted to men formerly by the Maruts about maidens.

The Rishis have laid the command upon all men that maidens should never be bestowed upon persons unless the father are eligible. The daughter is the root of desire and of descendants of the collateral line. This is what I think.

The practice of sale and purchase of the daughter, has been known to human beings for a long time. On account of such familiarity with the practice, you may be able, upon careful examination, to find innumerable faults in it. The gift or acceptance of dower alone could not be considered as creating the relation of husband and wife. Listen to what I say on this head.

was Formerly, having defeated all the Magadhas, the Kashis, and the Koshalas, I bought away by force two maidens for Vichitravirya.

One of those two maidens was married with due rites. The other maiden was not formally married on the ground that she was one for whom dower had been paid in the shape of chivalry My uncle of Kuru's race, viz., king Balhika, said that the maiden so brought away and not married with due rules should be liberated. That maiden, therefore, recommended to Vichitravirya for being married by him according to due rites.

Doubting my father's words I went to others for asking their opinion. I thought that my father was exceedingly punctilious in matters of morality.

I then went to my father himself, O king, and addressed him these words from desire of Knowing something about the practices of pious people in respect of marriage: I wish, O sire, to know what in truth the practices are of righteous people! I repeatedly expressed my wish. Such was my eagerness and curiosity, that I expressed my desire several times.

After I had uttered those words that foremost of pious men, viz., my father Balhika, answered me, saying-If in your opinion the relation of husband and wife belongs to the gift and acceptance of dower and not to the actual taking of the maiden's hand with due rites, the father of the maiden would show himself to be the follower of a creed other than that which comes from the ordinary scriptures. This is what the accepted scriptures say.

Persons conversant with morality and duty do not hold that their words are at all authoritative who say that the relation of husband and wife arises from the gift and acceptance of dower, and not from the actual taking of the hand with due rites.

The saying is well known that the relation of husband and wife is created by actual bestowal of the daughter by the father. The relation of wife is not formed through sale and purchase. They who consider such status to be due to sale and the gift of dower are persons who are certainly unacquainted with the scriptures.

No one should bestow his daughter upon such persons. In fact, they are not men with whom one may marry his daughter. A wife should never be purchased. Nor should a father sell his daughter.

Only those sinful persons who possessed besides, by cupidity, and who sell and purchase female slaves for making them servants, consider the relation of wife as capable of originating from the gift and acceptance of dower.

On this subject some people on one occasion had asked prince Satyavat the are following question-If the giver of a dower to the kinsmen of a maiden happens to die before marriage, can another person take the hand of that maiden in marriage? We have doubts on this matter. Do you remove these doubts of ours for you are gifted with great wisdom and are honoured by the wise.

ghaflat citantsura ya taifat HyrT:114 811 Be you the eyes to ourselves who are desirous of learning the truth.—Prince Satyavat answered, saying,-The kinsmen of the maiden should bestow her upon him whom they consider proper. There need be no scruples in this. The righteous act thus without caring for the giver of the dower even if he be alive! while, about the giver who is dead, there is not the slightest doubt.

Some say that the virgin wife or widow, whose, marriage has not been consummated with her husband by actual sexual intercourse on account of his absence or death-may be allowed to unite herself with her husband's younger brother or such other relation. The husband dying before such consummation, the virginwidow may either surrender herself to her husband's younger brother or practise penances.

In the opinion of some, the younger brother of the husband or such other relation may thus use the virgin wife or widow, though others hold that such practice, though it is frequent, originates from desire instead of being a scriptural ordinance. They who say so are clearly of opinion that the father of a maiden has the right to bestow her upon any eligible person, disregarding the dower previously given by another and accepted by himself. one

If after the hand of a maiden has been promised all the initial rites before marriage be performed, the maiden may still be given to a person other than the one to whom she had been promised. Only the giver commits the sin of falsehood; so far, however, as the relation of wife is concerned, no injury can occur thereto.

The Mantras of marriage accomplish their object of bringing about the indissoluble union of marriage at the seventh step. The maiden becomes the wife of him to whom the gift is actually made with water.

The gift of maidens should be made in the following way. The wise know it forsooth. A superior Brahmana should marry a maiden who is not unwilling, who belongs to a family equal to his own in purity or dignity, and who is given away by her brother. Such a girl should be married in the presence of fire, with due rites, causing her, amongst other things, to go round the bridegroom for the usual number of times.