Jayadratha-Vadha Parva — The remorse of Duryodhana

Sanjaya said O monarch, the king of Sindhu being slain, your son Suyodhana, with his eyes full of tears, became (greatly) dejected and despaired of defeating his enemies.

(And) with his mind weighted down with sorrow and breathing hot sighs like a snake whose (poison) tooth has been broken that offender, against the whole world, felt excruciating agony (if mind).

Seeing that Jishnu, Bhimasena and Satvatta were making a great and dreadful havoc of his army.

He turned thin and pale and became (greatly) dispirited. And with his eyes filled with tears he began to think that there was no warrior on earth who mighty be match for Arjuna.

Neither Drona, nor the son of Radha, nor Ashvatthama nor Kripa is capable of standing before him (Arjuna) when he is angry, O worshipful one.

(And Suyodhana, thought within himself.) No was able to resist him when having defeated all the great car-warriors on my side, Partha slew the king of Sindhus.

The son of Pandu has totally destroyed my vast army. (I think) even Purandara himself in person cannot protect it.

Even Karna, depending upon whom, I had engaged in this passage at arms in battle, has been defeated in encounter and Jayadratha slain.

Relying upon whose prowess 1 regarded that undeteriorating one (i.e., Krishna) who sued for peace, (something) like a straw, that Karna has been defeated in battle.

Thus dejected at heart, O king, O the most exalted of the Bharatas, your son, the offender against the whole world, came to seen Drona.

He then told (Drona) all about the great slaughter of the Kurus, the victory of the enemies and the great disaster of the followers of Dhritarashtra.

“O Preceptor," (Duryodhana (continued), "Behold this great carnage of those whose heads have undergone the sacred coronation bath, headed by my heroic grandsire Bhisma,

The covetous Shiknandi, having killed him, has got his desire fulfilled and is (now) stationed at the head of his troops together with all the Panchalas.

Having destroyed seven Akshauhinis (of our army), another invincible disciple of yours, viz., Savyasachi has killed king Jayadratha.

Those allies of ours, desirous of our victory and welfare, have gone to the abode of Yama. How can I repay the debt (of obligation) that I owe to them?

Those lords of the earth, who desired for me the sovereignty of the earth, having abandoned all earthly prosperity, are lying on the earth.

Coward that I am I have caused this great slaughter of my friends, and (therefore) cannot encourage myself to believe that I shall be able to purify myself by celebrating even a hundred horse-sacrifices.

Desirous of securing victory (for me who am covetous and sinful and a rebel against virtue, these (kings) have gone to the abode of the sons of Vivasvata.

I have fallen from virtue; an evil-minded and an enemy to my friends as I am why does not the earth yield me a hole (to bury me in).

Among the kings, my grandsire with bloodred eyes (lies on an arrowy bed) what will that invincible hero, who has conquered the next world, say when he will meet me?

See that the great bowman Jalasandha has been slain by Satyaki. That hero and mighty car-warrior exerting his utmost for my sake, has (at last) lain down his life.

Beholding the king of Kamboja, Alambusha and many other friends lose their lives, what is the good of preserving my life?

Those unretreating warriors after exerting their utmost to vanquish my enemies and fighting for my sake have (at last) sacrificed their lives.

I will today repay the debts I owe them by exerting my utmost in the battle) and will then offer oblation of Jamuna water to them.

O the foremost of those that wield weapons, I promise truly and swear by my good acts, my prowess and my sons.

That I will either obtain peace of mind by destroying the Panchalas together with the Pandavas or I will depart to the regions where they (i.e., my) friends have gone by being myself slain in battle.

I will go there whither those foremost of men, slain for may sake in battle by the fighting Kiriti, have departed.

Seeing they are not well protected our partisans are no longer desirous of supporting use. They deem the sons of Pandu are preferable to us, O mighty armed one.

That truth-abiding one (Bhishma) himself ordained his own death in battle. And your respectable self too does not exert your best because Arjuna is your disciple.

It is, on this account, that all those who were desirous of our victory have been slain. At present I seen that Karna alone is anxious for our success.

That man, of dull understanding who without the exercise of proper discretion, takes one for a friend and employs him in actions which can only be performed by real friends, has his object frustrated.

Covetous, sinful, crooked-minded and greedy of riches that I am, this affair of mine has been managed in this way by (so-called) best friend.

King Jayadratha, that powerful monarch, the son of Somadatta, the Ameeshahas, the Surasenas, the Curas and the Vysatis have (all) been slain.

I will today go there whither those best of the Bharatas, slain for my sake in battle by the fighting Kiriti, have gone.

There is no good of my life without those foremost of men. O preceptor of the sons of Pandu, permit me to do this.